How to talk like a programmer
in [Cobol]
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From: Pete Dashwood on 27 May 2010 22:36 docdwarf(a)panix.com wrote: > In article <867c5oFjdU1(a)mid.individual.net>, > Pete Dashwood <dashwood(a)removethis.enternet.co.nz> wrote: >> docdwarf(a)panix.com wrote: > > [snip] > >>> The company still exists onshore but the >>> need to have lawns mowed for 1,000 people no longer exists. >>> >> Hmmm.... >> >> I'm now working from home, but the lawn still needs mowing... :-) > > Has the lawn communicated that need, Mr Dashwood, or have you > interpreted the lawn's condition as generating that necessity? > > DD The grass whispers to me... (sorry, that's a joke for the UK people...) Pete. -- "I used to write COBOL...now I can do anything."
From: Pete Dashwood on 27 May 2010 22:55 Howard Brazee wrote: > On Thu, 27 May 2010 14:05:23 +0000 (UTC), docdwarf(a)panix.com () wrote: > >>> I'm now working from home, but the lawn still needs mowing... :-) >> >> Has the lawn communicated that need, Mr Dashwood, or have you >> interpreted the lawn's condition as generating that necessity? > > The question here is "who is the boss"? No question about it, Howard. It doesn't matter whether I cajole, threaten, attempt persuasion, or claim ownership, the grass will have its way. It does what it has to do and, short of replacing it with asphalt, there is nothing I can do about it. I solved the problem nicely by outsourcing the mowing to my neighbour who is happy to mow mine whenever he does his. The money I pay him means he gets his for free (he gets enough to cover petrol and a few beers) and everyone is happy. Coincidentally, he mentioned that they were thinking about broadband (currently on dial-up) and I suggested he share my wireless router as the signal is strong enough to cover their house. It was not my intention to charge for this as their demands would be small (downloading a few pictures of the grandchildren occasionally and email, they haven't quite got the hang of web browsing yet...). He immediately said: "If you let us do that, I'll do the lawns for free." So we tried it but the brick wall of their house, and the location of the PC, meant the signal was low to poor and it kept dropping out. Their computer is pretty ancient and they are looking to replace it so we may try again with the new machine located nearer to the router (and a window :-)). Meantime, the grass inevitably grows... :-) Pete. -- "I used to write COBOL...now I can do anything."
From: Anonymous on 28 May 2010 09:23 In article <868plrF4ebU1(a)mid.individual.net>, Pete Dashwood <dashwood(a)removethis.enternet.co.nz> wrote: >Howard Brazee wrote: >> On Thu, 27 May 2010 14:05:23 +0000 (UTC), docdwarf(a)panix.com () wrote: >> >>>> I'm now working from home, but the lawn still needs mowing... :-) >>> >>> Has the lawn communicated that need, Mr Dashwood, or have you >>> interpreted the lawn's condition as generating that necessity? >> >> The question here is "who is the boss"? > >No question about it, Howard. > >It doesn't matter whether I cajole, threaten, attempt persuasion, or claim >ownership, the grass will have its way. > >It does what it has to do and, short of replacing it with asphalt, there is >nothing I can do about it. Hmmmm... if 'pounding several pounds of sodium chloride per square meter of ground-area' is included in the list of possibilities then the outcome might be a bit different. DD
From: Howard Brazee on 28 May 2010 10:20 On Fri, 28 May 2010 14:55:55 +1200, "Pete Dashwood" <dashwood(a)removethis.enternet.co.nz> wrote: >It was not my intention >to charge for this as their demands would be small (downloading a few >pictures of the grandchildren occasionally and email, they haven't quite got >the hang of web browsing yet...). He immediately said: "If you let us do >that, I'll do the lawns for free." So we tried it but the brick wall of >their house, and the location of the PC, meant the signal was low to poor >and it kept dropping out. It might be worth buying a wireless extender. -- "In no part of the constitution is more wisdom to be found, than in the clause which confides the question of war or peace to the legislature, and not to the executive department." - James Madison
From: Clark F Morris on 28 May 2010 13:43
On Thu, 27 May 2010 10:40:44 -0600, Howard Brazee <howard(a)brazee.net> wrote: >On Thu, 27 May 2010 12:38:42 +0000 (UTC), docdwarf(a)panix.com () wrote: > >>>I suppose there is a direct relationship between how much mowing is >>>done offshore and how much lawn is offshore, headquarters or retail or >>>branch offices, or whatever. >>> >>>By the time the company no longer exists on-shore then it should have >>>a different definition of "off-shore". >> >>Binary thinking, Mr Brazee... an Occupational Hazard of those who program, >>perhaps, but not always the Way the World can Work. For example: a >>company needs building-space (offices, bathrooms, cafeterias, >>parking-lots... and lawns) for 2,000 people, 1,000 of which are involved >>in Computer Operations (finding out what users want, developing specs, >>writing code, reviewing code, re-writing code, implementing into Prod, >>maintaining code for new laws/regulations/needs, running the hardware so >>the code can do what the users want... granted the numbers I chose are >>arbirtary but such things can be quantified.) >> >>Management determines that Great Savings can be made if the Computer >>Operations work is done in Eastern Lithuania. 1,000 jobs vanish... and >>along with them the need for the offices, bathrooms, cafeterias, >>parking-lots and lawns. The company still exists onshore but the need to >>have lawns mowed for 1,000 people no longer exists. > >Interesting, I was thinking that your argument showed binary thinking. >Most companies are in the business of selling more than just data. >When the data processing moves off shore, there still are lots of >employees and customers left. And still have lawns (and bathrooms >and floors and cafeterias). > >CEOs decide that data processing might be profitably moved off shore, >but not the cleaning of their offices. And many times they contract that out, along with building security without adequately considering who has access to what. Are there valuable and saleable secrets available in the CEO's office, on his or her desk? |